First impressions: if you’re not careful, it’ll be your last.
A first impression is a natural sensation commonly experienced by everyone during the first few seconds of interacting with a stranger. This brief period is a sensory-stimulus phase characterized by sensations that aren’t the result of evaluation or reasoning but arise from the amygdala—the brain region involved in emotional processes—as an immediate response essential for the individual’s survival. In fact, the evolutionary purpose of a first impression is to quickly and efficiently “categorize” an unknown person.
Imagine walking down the street when, at some point, your gaze is drawn to someone heading toward you. Instinctively, you’ll try to look at them to gauge their intentions: whether they’re just strolling by or trying to approach you.
You’ll notice their clothing, posture, gaze, and every detail that might help you assess the situation. A few seconds later, you’ll either feel as though you’re in danger or that you’ve simply crossed paths with a harmless passerby. In fact, it takes us between 3 and 30 seconds to form a first impression, “labeling” a person and forming an idea of them that will be very difficult to shake.
The Importance of First Impressions
When we come into contact with someone, we tend to try to understand not only what they are telling us but also what they really mean—their true intentions and goals. We tend to pay more attention to the feelings we experience than to the information we can gather.
These feelings speak to our most irrational side—our instincts—and lead to an interpretation of reality that may be inaccurate because it’s subject to personal influences, beliefs, convictions, expectations, and even prejudices. Information, on the other hand, is gathered through the senses and is less arbitrary because it’s verifiable.
At this point, you may be wondering: if it’s true that feelings aren’t reliable, why does first impression play such an important role?
When we interact with someone, if our initial feeling is that they are kind and approachable, we will spontaneously respond in an equally open and friendly manner, conveying a corresponding sense of friendliness to the other person.
If, on the other hand, we get the feeling that the person we’re talking to is ambiguous and aloof, our response will be defensive, if not outright dismissive, and we’ll end up coming across as unpleasant ourselves.
In both cases, we become the architects of a self-fulfilling prophecy, inevitably shaping all subsequent interactions—even when our initial assessments are incorrect. Furthermore, the speed with which a judgment is formed is directly proportional to the slowness with which we tend to modify it.
The explanation for this mechanism lies in certain cognitive processes, the most important of which are the primacy effect and the priming effect. According to the primacy effect, our mind tends to regard the first characteristics observed in a person as true, automatically creating a first impression that is difficult to change.
The priming effect, on the other hand, is the mechanism by which we are led to confirm our initial assessment, distorting, discarding, or justifying information that conflicts with the image we have created. Once these perceptions take shape, they become extremely resistant to change and unconsciously drive us to seek out any information that might confirm them.
How can I make a good first impression?
How can I make a good first impression?
Whether we like it or not, first impressions are crucial in many contexts, and, as Oscar Wilde wrote, “We never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Therefore, it’s important to always present ourselves in the best possible light, especially when facing job interviews or other situations where the time we have to make ourselves known is limited.
Specifically, there are several factors that can influence first impressions and play a decisive role in the feelings we convey to the person we’re speaking with:
- Facial expression: This affects perceptions of friendliness, trust, and calmness, which are particularly influenced by the presence or absence of a smile. A tense or sullen face creates discomfort and detachment, as do exaggerated facial expressions. To best calibrate our communication and likability, we should maintain a relaxed facial expression with a subtle smile.
- Eye contact: It has a significant impact on first impressions and, in particular, on establishing an empathetic connection with the other person. If it’s too evasive, it may convey insecurity and fear; if it’s held for too long, it may indicate defiance or arrogance. A gaze that alternates between the eyes and other parts of the other person’s face and body will help put them at ease.
- Gestures: For example, the position of the hands can influence how friendly and open we appear to others, just as a handshake can affect the sense of security and trust.
- Proxemics: This relates to the relationship between us and the person we’re speaking with and refers to the physical distance we maintain from them.
- Scent: If it’s overpowering or unpleasant, it can cause the other person to feel disgust or rejection.
- Demeanor and Posture: Excessive stiffness can convey insecurity and make the person we’re speaking with feel uncomfortable.
- Clothing: Obviously, well-groomed attire appropriate for the context is a factor that positively influences the other person. However, if it is overly precise and perfect, it can create feelings of annoyance and make the person we’re speaking with feel tense. Incorporating a few small “imperfections” that create contrast can spark attraction and curiosity in the other person.
These may seem like superficial or trivial tips, but in reality, they are details that can truly make a difference when we present ourselves. Not everyone realizes that we communicate even when we think we aren’t.
In fact, whatever behavior or attitude we display takes on the significance of a message for others. “One cannot fail to communicate,” states the first axiom of the Pragmatics of Human Communication, precisely because interaction between two people in which they do not influence one another is impossible.
It is therefore good to remember that while the clothes certainly do not make the monk, they certainly help him enter the monastery!
Further Reading
Solomon Asch, 1952. “Social Psychology”
Cvetan Todorov, 2017. “Face Value: The Irresistible Influence of First Impressions”
Bruno Mazzara, 1997. “Stereotypes and Prejudices”
Paul Watzlawick, Janet Beavin, Donald Jackson, 1978. “Pragmatics of Human Communication”
